Friday, June 18, 2010
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
President Jonathan Meowington has suspended and fined Andy "Nap Daddy" Napier for slanderous remarks about Kat Dennings. In an intellectual remark on this blog Nap Daddy stated, "Kat Dennings is hot, but she looks like she's about to make me her undead minion 100% of the time. I may not be one to talk, but get some sun, sweetheart." Kat's genetics make it impossible for her to get a tan, she just turns red like a lobster and burns.
President Meowington held a one on one meeting with me this afternoon and allowed me to bring my camera to record his comments. Sadly there were problems with his microphone so his thoughts were not recorded to tape. But he told me that these remarks made his blood boil, and that if he thought his penalties for his remarks about U-God were harsh, he ain't seen nothin' yet! President Meowington has suspended Nap Daddy for 7 years from anything Kat Dennings related. No downloading pictures, no movies, no personal appearances, chance encounters, etc... President Meowington has also fined Nap Daddy for the sum of 140 trillion dollars. 70 trillion will be paid to Kat Dennings and the other 70 trillion will be given to the Pasty White People of America Foundation (PWPAF) for researching tanning treatments.
I requested a phone interview with Kat, but she insisted on an in person interview. I flew out to Los Angeles where she currently resides, for an in depth interview and here is what she had to say in response to the horrific comments. "It really hurts." She then commenced to showing me her SUPER rack, and then asked me to be her boyfriend. Of course I agreed and am currently in the process of packing up my belongings and moving to L.A.
President Meowington, being the forgiving man that he is, has agreed per request of Ms. Dennings to lessen the punishment of Mr. Nap Daddy if he makes an honest apology. But if the apology is not sincere (and he will know!) then the fine is quadrupled and also a Sheiky humbling will be added, and maybe a Necro Butcher punch. President Meowington has also fined Andrew "Funky D" Patton 48 million dollars for having a head that is never in less than two zip codes.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Happy Cinco De Cuatro! Yes, 5th of 4th for you Spanish majors. The holiday invented by the Drza and myself because Cinco de Mayo fell on a Sunday night and we didn't want to be hung over for Monday morning classes (what good scholars we were!). Why isn't it called cuatro de mayo? Because the Drza said Cinco de Cuatro and it is way funnier than Cuatro de Mayo! So drink a Margarita or some Tequila or whatever in celebration of Cinco De Cuatro!