R.I.P Zach

Zack Morris is dead. Zack dared to do what most would never even think of attempting. Zach Morris in a gesture of friendship offered one of his pattented friends forever, friendship bracelets to WCW superstar Meng. But young Morris forgot that "MENG IS FRIEND TO NO MAN!"
Upon hearing about the tragedy I quickly got on a plane and flew to California to meet with some of Zack's dearest friends and get their take on the situation.
I sat with A.C. Slater, friend and also rival of Zack. "Preppy always did do stupid things, but I never thought he'd do something this dumb. But hey, I can have Kelly all to myself now!" Slater proclaimed. Then he broke into a dance number, played the drums and flexed his muscles, all while talking about beating Valley.
I then met briefly with Jessie Spano, class president and good friend of Zack. "He was so young. He had such a bright future, even though he was a womanizing pig." I then showed Jessie my penis and she said, "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so....scared!"
Lisa Tutrle as expected was fashionably late and only had time to say this to me, "At least he was dressed nice when his larynx was crushed."
Best friend Screech Powers was the most emotional of the gang. "Zack was my best friend, I'd do anything for him. I haven't been this sad since my ant farm caught on fire when my robot Kevin expolded. BOO HOO HOO"
And finally I met with Kelly Kapowski, on again off again love interest of Zack. "Zack was the greatest guy I ever knew. I wish he would have nailed me before he died. It's ok, though Slater is way hotter anyway, and probably has a bigger dong. I'm going to the beach!"
Zack was buried today underneath his favorite hang out THE MAX. The #1 combo was re-named the Zack Attack combo. R.I.P. Zack Morris.
If there is a lesson to be learned here it is not to fuck with Meng...he is truly friend to no man.